Mark Twain Quotes
Cagey Wisdom and Quips From One of America's Greatest Writers
Jul 17, 2009
Paul Bertolone
He was born Samuel L. Clemens but famously known by his pen name, Mark Twain. A topical understanding of the man, his views, and the social conditions of his time (and today) can be derived from his writings.
On the Library of Congress website (americaslibrary.gov), his popular work, Huckleberry Finn, is listed as the quintessential "great American novel." During his life, Twain wrote scores of articles, novels, short stories, and non-fiction. Also a raconteur, his wild early life in the South contributed to colorful stories of escapades and adventure.
In Fred Kaplan's The Singular Mark Twain, published by Doubleday in 2007, Twain is listed as having lived from 1835 to 1910. During his rich life he became a national and international celebrity, noted for his wit and poignant cynicism. His quips are too numerous to be listed in entirety, but one must appreciate his unique view on life when reading a mere excerpt of his most famous and repeated quotes.
On Government, Politics, and Money
Twain was a social critic on abuses of power, but was often paradoxically labeled as both a pacifist and revolutionary.
In his own words, transcribed from editor Maxwell Geismar's Mark Twain and the Three R's, published in 1973: "I am said to be a revolutionist in my sympathies, by birth, by breeding and by principle. I am always on the side of the revolutionists, because there never was a revolution unless there were some oppressive and intolerable conditions against which to revolt."
He was also famously critical of bankers, politicians, and other professions he saw as corrupt.
"The lack of money is the root of all evil." From More Maxims of Mark, by Merle Johnson (1927).
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." There is some argument whether this is an actual Twain quote, but seems to be in keeping with his humor and style.
"The government of my country snubs honest simplicity, but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two, " from Roughing It.
"That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do." From A Tramp Abroad.
"History has tried hard to teach us that we can't have good government under politicians. Now, to go and stick one at the very head of the government couldn't be wise." From the 26 August 1876 edition of the New York Herald.
On War
"All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it." From The Private History of the Campaign That Failed.
"If we had less statesmanship, we would get along with fewer battleships," from his diary circa 1905.
On Religion and Society
Twain was a freemason and at times labeled as a Christian (he was raised Presbyterian), but often detested organized religion and injustices in the name of a church.
"Zeal and sincerity can carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and sword," in Christian Science.
"Do not put off until tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well." also quoted in Johnson's Maxims.
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." From Mark Twain in Eruption, published in 1940 by Harper and authored by Bernard DeVoto.
"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." From Tom Sawyer.
"Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion." From A Horse's Tale.
On Facts and Statistics
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." As quoted by Rudyard Kipling in From Sea to Shining Sea.
"Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." from Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review.
"I never saw an author who was aware that there is any dimensional difference between a fact and a surmise." As quoted by his daughter, Clara, in My Father Mark Twain.
Cynicism aside, there's no denying that Twain's gift with language presented, and still presents, valuable insight into the American condition. Those wishing to learn more about Mark Twain or experience a piece of history can visit the Mark Twain House.
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